It is just one of those days, I will suddenly sit down I judge myself. Like thinking how I have been a complaining bitch for the past few years, but that is just a habit that I get from being unsatisfied for everything around me. I know how lucky I am to have what I have now, being able to study without worrying about my tuition, being able to think about what I want to do instead of what I have to do. Sadly, I have to see all these when there is a person who is in a less fortunate situation in front of me. Yes, I will only know that when I see the pain of others.
This morning, I am sitting here at the walkway of baldy. I am trying to review my chemistry, because I haven’t been to class for ages. I am trying to finish a book in hurry because I did not read it when my professor assigns me the chapter each week. I am trying to focus on study, but somehow my focus just went all over the place, to my phone, my facebook, or the TV shows. Until this one lady show up, when a trained, adorable dog leads her here. She is just like any other people in the campus, buying pizza and drinks at the Tim Horton. The only difference is she asking the cashier to take for her, I was wondering why. However, soon I found out the reason, when she reaches out her hand to search for a seat. I can’t help the feeling to take a glance at her, and how she does everything by herself. I could not help myself to think of the difference between us. She is capable as us, she is here at the same university, and she is educated.
When she reaches out her hand to test everything by herself, we trust what we see, and believe in what is in our mind that could be bias or paranoia. It gets me thinking maybe we miss something when we actually are able to see them. For example, when we saw a person, the first impression is so important. Sometimes, two people may become friends but they didn’t until long time. That is probably because of we trust our first impression on someone and reject to get to know that person further. Gradually, we get use to this routine. The problem of stubborn, bias, and others come to our life and let us making some wrong decisions. We usually immediately get to the conclusion without get to do the real research on the issue. We are just simply enjoy the “freedom” of speech from what we saw and heard from people, and media which is controlled by people.
I think all these just help me understand that it is right to say out loud my opinions on something. Because we have the right to do that, and that is the point of communication. However, maybe just for the possibility that we can’t trust out eye and ear completely, I would like to leave my door a little space. Like what the girl did, tested it by myself before I gave my conclusion on it.